


In Our Heats We Kept You

by witchesmortuary



Series: Gone But Not Forgotten [3]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Major character death - Freeform, This is the aftermath, get the tissues out fellas the angst has returned, hilda is being the best supportive sister, mary is dead and zelda is grieving, there's a surprise at the end, zelda gives a heartwarming speech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchesmortuary/pseuds/witchesmortuary
Summary: ``She showed me that there is a life without Him and so I answered the question ’Was it worth it?’ with Yes. Yes, all the loss and the grief was worth it because I spent the last 15 years with a beautiful woman, inside and out.´´--Zelda spends the weeks after Mary's death grieving and when the funeral comes, she holds a speech about her life with Mary.- Part of the Gone But Not Forgotten Series -
Relationships: Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Series: Gone But Not Forgotten [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853233
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	In Our Heats We Kept You

**Author's Note:**

> After 7 months and 1 day I have returned with the funeral of fanfiction of my Spellwell Death Fanfiction ``You Will Be My Love And My Life´´. I hope you enjoy it! I spent a lot of time on it and it's like my favorite thing ever since that Deathfic!  
> There is a little surprise at the end which is dedicated to Gabie! <3
> 
> Title and Lyrics quote is from the song ``Never Forget´´ from the movie ``Murder on the Orient Express´´ sung by Michelle Pfeiffer.  
> The Playlist for the Gone But Not Forgotten Series can be found here: spotify:playlist:4tAnDRZqhVSZMGpL41Dvxa

If Zelda had to explain the weeks after Mary’s passing, it had to be the word numb. The days felt long and indifferent; she spent most of her days in bed on Mary’s side with her face buried deep in the pillows and wrapped in one of her robes not caring when Hilda came in to bring her a tray of food and come again to get the barely touched tray out.

The hours she didn’t spend sleeping, she cried. She cried for all that she lost and for the heartache her family went through, she cried for Hilda and Ambrose and Sabrina, and every time she thought she couldn’t cry anymore, an old memory emerged. A new wave of pain rippled through her body and she cried, the sobs escaping from her lips sounding like a banshee’s scream as she clutched the pillow tightly.

During those moments, Sabrina would slip in, hug her close and Zelda would clutch to her like she was drowning. The only thing keeping her over water were those hugs and she sobbed, her tears drenching Sabrina’s shirt until she felt she had no tears left and she looked at her niece, softly brushed away her tears, and pulled her close in a hug to and lay in silence until Zelda fell asleep again, exhaustion from the crying making her more tired.

_ ‘’ _ _ I'm going to haunt you if you lose yourself in grief, understood? I won't have that.’’  _ those words kept ringing in her ears every time she was close to sleeping. That thought didn’t sound too bad, she thought at one point, her fingers brushing away tears and nuzzling into the bed, inhaling what was left of Mary’s scent. ``At least I’d know she was here.´´ she murmured in the dark and fell asleep with a stinging in her heart before she rolled into the fetus position and almost vanished under the blanket.

  
  


The day of the funeral was the only time she came out of her room. She went into the kitchen, dressed all black, and it almost felt like everything was back to normal. The only thing indicating that nothing was back to normal, was the mortal missing on Zelda’s left and the matte red hair and green eyes missing its natural shine.

Zelda tried her hardest not to burst into tears when she met Hilda’s eyes, who wordlessly crossed the kitchen and hugged her. The redhead leaned herself against the smaller witch and buried her face in her sister’s shoulder. ``I miss her, Hildy.´´ she mumbled, her voice rough from all the crying and screaming.

Hilda brushed softly over her back and tried her hardest to keep the tears at bay. ``I know Zelds. We all do,´´ she responded and kissed her temple softly. ``You gotta eat though, love. I know you don’t want to and I know your throat hurts from all the crying, but you need the food. And I’ll make you a nice soothing tea.´´ she explained calmly, almost scared that at any moment, Zelda would break like a vase or worse explode on her.

Zelda just nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the table. Her hand almost automatically twitched towards her left side to grasp long fingers, always fidgeting and always doing something. Still, she was met with nothing but wood and she pressed her eyes together, her left hand balling into a fist so hard that she felt her nails digging into her flesh.

No one had said a single thing ever since Zelda sat down and the silence felt deafening. Sabrina silently ate her cereal, trying her hardest not to cry as well and Ambrose wasn’t even there. Hilda placed a plate in front of Zelda and a cup of tea as she kissed the top of her head softly and took a seat next to the witch, wrapping her hands around her mug.

Zelda fixed her eyes on the plate, two slices of toast with jam and a cup of tea. She tried to talk herself into eating, trying to remind herself that Mary wouldn't want her to starve but it just made her want to go back to her room and curl in on herself, the thought of Mary caring for her well being not so far off since she would do it even when she was close to dying.

Zelda pushed the untouched plate away from herself and, with a shaking hand, took the cup to wrap her hands around, to feel something steady in her usually twitchy fingers. She still stared at the toast, her eyes squinted slightly in hopes it would disappear and not bother her any further. And Zelda felt bile rising in her stomach at the thought of eating anything, even soup, and she wrinkled her nose and pushed herself up. "Don't start without me." she pressed out before hurrying towards the bathroom and slammed the door close. Her knees gave out, she fell to her knees, and she wretched and heaved, yet nothing came out because she hadn't eaten anything.

She leaned her head on her arms and cried. Tears were running down her cheeks and ruining her makeup, staining her cheeks with mascara. Her hands clenched and unclenched around nothing as she tried her hardest not to let out a guttural scream, so the only thing escaping her lips was a weak whimper. Zelda pushed herself off the toilet seat and leaned against the wall, kicking off her heels, and her knees came up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them.

She wanted to be alone, alone in the room and alone with her thoughts but a tentative knock sounded. "Come in." she said and buried her face in her knees, trying her hardest to look as small as possible in hopes she disappeared.

Hilda walked in and sank next to her, her arms wrapping around her sister's shoulder. "Come here.." she whispered and tugged the witch towards her so Zelda could curl into the blonde witch, her face buried in her neck and body pressed against hers.

It felt wrong to see Zelda like this, absolutely broken and seemingly beyond repair. The last time Zelda had anything that came close to this were the weeks following Edward's and Diana's death, and even then, having Sabrina to take care of had taken up their minds and pushed the grief away.

"I need you to do something for me, Zelds. You're going to eat one slice, drink that cuppa, we'll have the funeral, and then I'll get you into your bed again, so you can sleep. That sound good?" Hilda asked, her arm stroking up and down the shaking form. " 'Brina already ate the other half, so there is only one slice left." she added and smiled softly as Zelda looked up at her before burying her face again.

"I want to go back to bed now. I want to smell her before it gets lost." she choked out and pressed her hand to her mouth, holding in her sobs as she remembered Mary putting on her perfume and coming over to their shared bed and kissing her forehead before leaving for Baxter High.

Hilda held her closer and nodded. "I-I know, love. I know but you have to eat and it's her funeral." she explained and carefully stood up with the redhead standing in front of her, her heels next to the sink. "Let's get your make up fixed, mh?" she said and moved her hands in front of her face so the makeup morphed back into its original state.

Together they exited the bathroom and Zelda sat back in her chair and pulled the plate towards her. After a second of hesitation, she started eating the toast, small bites but it was a beginning, Hilda thought and moved around the kitchen, her gaze always falling back on Zelda, who had her eyes trained on the empty spot next to her.

  
  


The hours leading up to the funeral were thankfully busy with arranging last things and for those few hours, Zelda was back to herself, busying herself and with that blocking out her spiraling thoughts. This had always been her coping mechanism, burying herself in work until either Hilda or in the last years, mostly Mary, sat her down so Zelda could talk it out.

While she was going through the guest list a little voice in her head started to wonder if all this was worth it, watching Mary slowly die and now having to feel this pain.

She almost aggressively shut the book closed and stared at her left hand, where a red ring was sat on her ring finger. A small smile flitted over her lips as she thought back to the day Mary had gifted it to her.

* * *

_ “You know you didn’t have to do all this, right? I am perfectly fine with spending the evening on the couch drinking wine and reading. I am 590 years old. My Age is just a number at this point.” Zelda chuckled and took Mary’s hand with a smirk. _

_ Mary looked down at their entwined hands and smiled. “I know but I wanted to. Hilda told me you don't celebrate your birthday for uh- obvious reasons, but I think it's a rather special day. You deserve all the best, you know?” she said, surprisingly confident and kissed her knuckles. Zelda’s cheeks turned a lovely shade of red and she chuckled. Of course, Mary would think being born on the 25th December was special, she thought with a smile. _

_ The evening went by quietly. They ate and talked about their weeks, and all the while, their fingers were entwined. After they finished their dessert, Mary fidgeted a little before pulling a small box out of her purse. Zelda’s eyes widened slightly, and she stiffened. _

_ Mary bit her lip. “I saw this while walking through the shopping mile, and it’s uh- it reminded me of you. It's nothing much, but I thought you'd like it.” she said and put the little box in the middle of the table with a shy smile. _

_ Zelda uncrossed and crossed her legs before almost nervously taking the little box and opening it. In black velvet there sat a ring with a silver band and the stone was red. “O-Oh Mary!” she whispered and looked up at her with big eyes. _

_ The Brunette smiled and pushed a strand behind her ear. “That's a Garnet. Your- you know one of your Birthstones. It stands for Determination and Ambitiousness. I know you don’t believe in all of this but-´´ she said but stopped when Zelda grasped her hand softly. _

_ She had already put the ring on her finger and softly brushed her thumb over Mary’s wrist. ``Thank you, Mary. I love it.´´ she replied and leaned forward to kiss her softly. _

  
  


Zelda was ripped from her thoughts as a hand came to rest on her shoulder and she brushed the tears forming away with her thumbs before turning around.

“The first guests are here.” Hilda said and smiled reassuringly before adding: ”How are you holding up?”

Zelda blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill again and nodded. ``I am fine. Just Pollen.´´ she replied and she knew when Hilda raised her eyebrows slightly that she wasn‘t convinced but she didn't care. She moved past the blonde witch to do what was her job, greet the grieving friends & family.

When she entered the house, she was met by only a handful of people and it still resembled Mary so well. The brunette woman didn't have a lot of friends and her remaining family had been small, she told her.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Wardwell. My name is-” she started, her hand outstretched but was interrupted by the brown haired man, the brother if Zelda wasn't mistaken.

“Miss Spellman. Yes. Mary mentioned you in her letters to my wife a few times.” he said a little stiff. His eyes fleeted around the room. 

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, the blonde woman on Mr. Wardwell's arm quietly coughed into her fist to break the tension. “We would have taken over the funeral costs for my sister in law happily, Miss Spellman. You didn't have to do that, after all the grief you already went through.” she said with a sad smile. Zelda wondered how much the blonde woman knew of their relationship.

Zelda nodded. “I know but it was the least I could do.” she explained, her fingers behind her back wringing nervously, almost anxiously. “I didn't want you two to worry about the finances and after all, we are a mortuary.” The pair nodded, agreeing and after a short goodbye, Zelda turned to greet the rest.

  
  


During the Funeral itself, Zelda kept in the background as always and it worked well until Mary’s sister in law, looked towards Zelda with a single nod and then nudged her husband who nodded quietly. “And now I think someone very close would like to say a few words too. As a perfect closure. Miss Spellman?”

Zelda stared at him with big eyes and didn't move until Hilda gave her shoulder a quick short squeeze. The redheaded witch rose, brushed out the nonexistent wrinkles in her black dress before she made her way to the podium. She had no speech prepared nor was she prepared to say anything at all. She stared into a few familiar and less familiar faces.

“I met Mary .. “ her face came out hoarse and cleared her throat and swallowed hard. “I met Mary at one of my niece’s Parent-Teacher-Conferences. She was- Mary was shy but passionate, so very passionate about her work and the students. I admired that from the beginning. When I continued to meet more with her, I noticed she was also very passionate about family, friendships and most importantly the people she held very close to her heart. I didn’t think I would become one of those people-” Zelda’s eyes fell to her fingers that were splayed on the wood and she swallowed hard again before looking up again with a resemblance of a smile. “-but I did and frankly, these last 15 years have been the best years of my life and I would trade them for absolutely nothing. She always pushed me to be a better person, helped me through the worst time of my life and always saw the best in me when I had already given up on myself.” she felt the tears gathering in her eyes and gently tapped a tear away with her ring finger. “I asked myself earlier if it was worth it, going through this grief, knowing she won’t sit at the same table again with me, and when I was younger I would have said No, because many among us know, how religion can affect us, the way we act around each other and that we tend to keep out people that don’t fit the picture we are given. But when Mary entered my life, I realized that no, my God can’t tell me who I love and don’t love. She showed me that there is a life without Him and so I answered the question ’Was it worth it?’ with Yes. Yes, all the loss and the grief was worth it because I spent the last 15 years with a beautiful woman, inside and out.” Her eyes drifted to the closed casket where she knew the brunette woman’s corpse was in and a sad, almost melancholic smile tucked on her lips. “I am speaking this for my family and me. We're going to miss you, Mary Wardwell. Quite a lot.” she said more to herself before she turned back to the people in front of her, nodded lightly, and left the stage.  _ Enough Embarrassment for today _ , she thought and sat herself down again. Hilda gently took her hand and squeezed her hand in reassurance.

Zelda looked next to her, where Sabrina sat and she saw the young woman shake slightly so she moved her arm around her shoulders and tucked the white haired girl against her and kissed her hair lightly. “I know Brina. It's alright.” she mumbled and leaned her head on hers. “It’s going to be alright.” she repeated, more for her own sake than Sabrina’s.

  
  


The Funeral went quick and as peaceful as it could. The Burial Service went right after the Funeral and when the Spellmans arrived back home, they were exhausted. As Zelda made her way to the alcohol cabinet, she felt someone wrap their arms around her. She was close to fighting them off when she realized it was Sabrina. The redheaded witch put down the whiskey decanter, closed it and turned around to wrap her arms around her niece.

They just held each other for a while until Sabrina lifted her head. “Is it … is it going to get better?” she asked quietly, her voice shaking.

Zelda’s heart ached for her. The young girl hadn’t needed to process her parents' death the same way Zelda and Hilda had to and she hadn’t experienced death this way before. She brushed a strand behind her ear and smiled sadly. “It's going to take a while but it will get better, I promise.” she said and kissed her forehead. “Give it time.”

Sabrina sniffed and nodded. “Was it this hard for you and Auntie Hilda when Mom and Dad died?” she asked quietly, her eyes fell to her hands.

Zelda’s face turned into something close to a grimace for a split second; pain and memories of days just living off of whiskey and cigarettes flashed through her mind. “Yes, dear. It was this hard and to be quite honest with you-” she guided Sabrina towards the couch and sat down with her before she tugged the girl into her arms, her head resting on the white blonde hair. “-this is even harder for me. And I am sorry you have to go through this. You shouldn’t have to.´´

Sabrina buried her face in Zelda‘s neck again and nodded, her arms wrapping around her a little tighter. She cuddled as close to her aunt as she could, almost sitting in her lap at this point, and sniffed. ``Did you mean it?´´ she asked carefully.

Zelda frowned and lifted her head. ``What do you mean?´´ she asked, her fingers brushing through her hair and lifting her niece‘s head.

The young woman swallowed and said: ``W-When you said that you wouldn‘t change anything and that the loss is worth the love you felt.´´ She brushed away the beginning of the tears and swallowed hard. Her eyes were wide and puffy.

The High Priestess stiffened a little and swallowed before a small sad smile settled on her lips. She nodded slowly. ``I did mean it. Every word. I was scared at first. I knew that she would die at some point and I was scared to let her in because I know it would hurt. I kept trying to push her away but it ended in kind of a push and pull, the more I pushed her away, the more I fell for her and the more she tried to break the walls. And I guess she did it.´´ he said, her voice thick with tears and she looked down. The auburn haired witch hadn‘t even noticed that she had started crying again so when she felt the tears that dropped on her palms, she brushed the tears away almost aggressively.

Sabrina smiled sadly and now fully sat herself in her lap and hugged her close, like she did when she was a child when she had hurt herself or simply needed a hug; Sabrina had always been a very affectionate and clingy child.

Zelda wrapped her arms around the girl and they sat like this for another 3 hours until the High Priestess gently stroked Sabrina’s cheek. ``Sabrina wake up. Let’s get you to bed.´´ she said with a low voice but Sabrina sleepily shook her head and cuddled closer. Zelda sighed. ``I’ll sit with you until you fall asleep, okay?´´ she tried again and this time the young woman begrudgingly agreed and moved up from her aunt’s lap to stand. The redhead couldn’t even react before Sabrina pulled her up and together they went upstairs.

It took the young woman another 30 minutes to fall asleep before Zelda was finally able to leave the room and have some time for herself. Her feet took her outside and she sat on the bench. Even after all these weeks and now having buried the body, the thought of not seeing Mary felt surreal. She wanted to bury her face in the brown curls and hug her close to her body.

More tears rolled down her cheeks and she brushed them away with a quiet sob. She promised herself not to cry anymore and yet here she was with more tears. Zelda clenched her jaw and she started to shake due to the sheer power the sobs held. She wanted Mary back, she wanted to go to bed with her and curl herself around the thin body and bury her face in her neck as the other woman played with her hair. She wanted-

``Oh Zelda...´´ a voice close to her said and she froze. That was impossible. Her head snapped up and her eyes fell on the form of her very dead girlfriend.

Zelda jumped up and gasped. ``M-Mary? What- What are you doing here? How do you...oh no.´´ she mumbled at the end and held her hands over her mouth. She saw the slight see through shimmer that the other woman adorned and her tears welled up again.

Mary’s eyes were cold but still filled with the same familiar warmth. ``I don’t have much time. I just- I wanted to say goodbye. One last time.´´ she explained and smiled softly. ``I couldn’t leave. Not without seeing you the last time.´´

Zelda smiled sadly and brushed away the tears. ``Have you been here all this time?´´ she asks with an unsure wave in her voice and it takes all her might not to run over to the brunette and hug her. She knows if she gets too close, Mary will disappear. Her parents taught her that early on.

The brunette bit her lip and nodded. ``I’ve been watching you. You and Sabrina and Hilda and Ambrose.´´ she states and looks wary. ``I am sorry for putting you through all this. You shouldn’t have to.´´ Mary itches to reach out just as much as Zelda does. She wants to calm her and hold her, let her cry into her shoulder and stroke her hair and she had completely calmed down.

But Mary couldn’t because no matter how hard she wished for it to not be true, she was dead. And she was about to cross over and never see Zelda again.

The High Priestess pressed her lips together and sighed. ``I’m never going to see you again after this.´´ she realized and shuffled her feet. ``I don’t want you to go, Mary.´´ she added and took a deep breath in.

The brunette smiled sadly ``I know, Zelds. But we’ll see each other again. Some day. I promise you that, dear.´´ she objected with a steady voice. ``You’ll live a wonderful life, be happy and love again and then when it’s time, I’ll be there waiting for you.´´

The redhead let out a sob and shook her head in disbelief. ``No Mary. You’ll go to- to heaven and I’ll go to hell. That’s how it should be. And that’s okay.´´ she explained softly and sighed. ``I don’t want anyone else. I only want you.´´ she added.

A soft chuckle escaped Mary and she shook her head. ``We’ve had 15 wonderful wonderful years. You’ve said it yourself. It’s now your time to move on, Zelds.´´ But the redhead shook her head wildly.

``I don’t want to move on! These past 15 years are the happiest I have ever been! I’m never going to find someone who’ll love me as you did. I am never going to find someone who I will love as I loved you.´´ Zelda insisted as she stopped fighting the tears and let them fall freely. She brushed them away with a shaky hand; her eyes glued to the translucent form of the brunette woman.

Mary swallowed and closed her eyes in pain. ``I will not have you completely shut off because of me, Zelda. I will not.´´ her voice was firm and she swallowed before she stepped forward and stretched out her hand for Zelda to touch.

The High Priestess reached out to her out of instinct and gasped at the coldness. ``I love you, Zelda. I have mere minutes now but I love you so so much. Please never stop being you and never ever stop believing in yourself.´´ Zelda teared up and held back a sob. ``Be the best you can ever be and trust that you’ll find someone. There is someone else out there, even if you don’t believe it now.´´

As Mary spoke she became more and more translucent and Zelda continued holding onto nothing but as she finished her last sentence she blew a last kiss and smiled. ``I love you, Zelda Phiona Spellman.´´

Zelda stared at nothing as she heard the last sentence and sobbed out loud. Her knees gave way and she sank to the ground, her dress dirtied by the mud. ``I- I love you too, Mary. So much.´´ she whispered and wailed, her heart aching once again. It felt like her heart had been ripped apart and glued together before being ripped apart again.

  
  


Hilda found her sister 2 hours later, still in the garden, still crying and she hugged her close, transporting them to Zelda’s bedroom. ``You need sleep, Zelds. Come.´´ she whispered and helped her out of the black dress into her nightgown before helping her to bed.

``Hildy, I saw Mary. She- She says she loves me. She loves us.´´ she said softly and curled into herself, her eyes wide and red. She could tell Hilda wasn’t believing her, or even if she did, it was a small part.

Hilda got to bed with her and hugged her close. ``It’s alright. Tomorrow we’ll talk about it. Sleep now.´´

  
  
  


**_Tell me all the things you wish for_ **

**_Tell me all that you would want to live for_ **

**_When you come home, when you come home to me_ **

**_Home, my love_ **

**_\-- Never Forget_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are as always appreciated. ♡  
> For more content/contact you can follow me on Twitter which is @/witchesmortuary.


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